My husband married his first and only girlfriend – me. I’ve often pressed him on how he managed to bypass the journey of heartbreak and confusion most experience before finding the right match. His answer is always the same.
“I watched other people’s relationships and learned from their mistakes and experiences.”
“That’s it? No more complicated than that?”
“Well, that, and I was shy and probably a bit too picky.”
I, on the other hand, tried to “make things work.” I stayed in the wrong relationships for too long and generally made more decisions with my mind than my heart. Once, I made a list of the qualities I wanted in my significant other. I became engaged to a fabulous man (just not for me at that time in my life) who had 75% of the qualities I was looking for. But it just wasn’t the right fit, and that ended in my mother calling the newspaper to cancel our engagement announcement minutes before it went to press.
I tell my friends that are still searching for “the one” that finding “the one” wasn’t the result of reaching a higher plane of maturity or understanding. It just happens. I would best describe it as being open to chance as it presented itself. That, and not forcing fate. If the word fate is too much for you to subscribe to, then not forcing events to unfold faster than they naturally would.
I think career is the same. A little bit of waiting for luck and circumstance, a little bit of patience to let events unfold on their own, and a little bit of hanging in there – not giving up faith that events will eventually turn in our favor.